Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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