she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
