I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Randomize
