Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
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