she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
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