just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
