just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
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