You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
My pussy is not your playground.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
