Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Randomize
