yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
