Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
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