i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
