You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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