I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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