i was rollin on her like bob the builder
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
