The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
