just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
