I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
