FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Randomize
