I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Randomize
