don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
