just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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