i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Randomize
