If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
