I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
It's shark week go big or go home
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
