The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
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