Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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