Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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