YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
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