More tranny stories later!
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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