i barfeds in our rink
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize