if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
