is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
