I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
