Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
