Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
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