She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
