please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
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