I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
