i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Randomize
