please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
