So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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