No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
