Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
