what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
