God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
