Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
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