bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
So vagazzling was a success
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
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