He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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