Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
