he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
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