Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
