He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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