Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
