these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Randomize
