NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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