Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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