your room smells of hookers.
And success
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
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